


I would (I would)

by writevale



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Discussions of matrimony, Established Relationship, I can't express how romantic these two are, Kissing, M/M, post 3.14, they are soft and in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24795139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writevale/pseuds/writevale
Summary: 'I saw you earlier, you know.' Peter whispered it into Juno's tight curls like a secret, 'Shedding a few tears at the happy announcement.'Juno's fingers stalled against his like a question without an answer. 'I wasn't crying.'
Relationships: Background Buddy/Vespa - Relationship, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 29
Kudos: 137





	I would (I would)

Being incapacitated like so was terribly inconvenient for Peter Nureyev, although, not entirely without benefit. Juno carried him so carefully back to his room from the Family Meeting. Peter had a perfect view of the side of the lady's face as the lights above painted his cheekbones silver and glanced off the curve of his wonderful nose. Pondering, Peter nipped his bottom lip under the line of his sharp teeth and that was how Juno caught him staring, pupil swallowing up that brown iris of his as he hastily returned his gaze to the corridor in front of them. There was no unpleasant redness tinging his sclera, no puffiness under his eye that would give him away. In fact, there was no sign that Juno had just been crying at all.

'Stop looking at me like that.' Juno huffed, lips pursing slightly the way they always did when he was embarrassed and a little sulky about it.

'Like what, dear?' That flickering gaze returned to his face and Peter's stomach clenched with the heat of it. If Juno wasn't careful, the thief would melt straight through the muscular cradle he had made with his arms. A spike of pain shot up his leg as Juno missed a corner and smacked Peter's very long and very broken limb into the wall. 'Augh! Juno! Watch where you're going, _please_!'

'Stop looking at me like that then.' He mumbled petulantly. But he took the rest of the route with far more care.

*

Their evenings together weren't perhaps as _athletic_ as they might have been but, with the warm weight of Juno against his side and the lady's fingertips playing with his own deft-fingered hands, Peter was struggling to care. His stomach twisted with the now familiar wrench of guilt, the anticipation of dousing that fire in Juno's eyes, as he considered that he might not have that long to just enjoy Juno's company like this. The only difficult thing, in these soft, quiet moments between the grand explosions of daring and intrigue that made up their lives, was for Peter to keep his mind from wandering through the maze of things that should definitely be filed under _for future consideration_ or, better yet, ignored completely.

'I saw you earlier, you know.' Peter whispered it into Juno's tight curls like a secret, 'Shedding a few tears at the happy announcement.'

Juno's fingers stalled against his like a question without an answer. 'I wasn't crying.' He snapped and Peter felt Juno go tense at his side.

' _Juno.'_ Peter breathed a laugh, attempting a playful air that might coax the ex-detective back out from his most well-trodden battleground: inside his own head. Juno let out a disgusted rasp of breath, fingers sliding back between Peter's before curling into a fist.

'And, even if I was crying - I wasn't _crying,_ Nureyev.'

Peter was an intelligent man. But he felt like an intelligent man who was missing something crucial. A part of his soul, the part that Peter sometimes suspected had become entirely too comfortable (and, worse, _reliant_ ) on his love, cried out when Juno lifted his head from Peter's shoulder and twisted to meet his searching gaze. Juno in the white cloud of their bedding, the material bunched up under his armpits and flowing down his torso to fan out at the hips like - a smile touched Peter's lips - well, rather like a wedding gown.

Perhaps, they would always be learning how to communicate with each other, existing together in a constant dance of misinterpretation while they tried to shed the layers of the past like a series of increasingly tight disguises. Sometimes, Peter felt like he couldn't speak for the restrictive corset of his murky history.

Juno's eye narrowed and Peter felt the instinctual rising sensation preparing him for flight. He reached out a hand towards Juno, placating.

'I'm not sure what you mean, dear?'

'I - ugh.' Juno itched at his eyepatch before meeting Peter's eyes with a steady resolve. 'I wasn't crying because I was upset. I'm happy for them, obviously.'

'But, of course, Juno! Why -?' Realisation dawned. Peter's mouth froze open in the gormless pout formed by the start of his question. _Oh, you fool_ , he chastised himself _, why indeed would a man whose fiancé left weeks before their wedding be upset at the thought of an engagement?_

A twitch in Juno's eyebrows seemed to signify that he was satisfied that Peter understood and he lifted Peter's left arm off the bed to nestle himself back into his chest. Peter allowed himself to be manipulated and that light part of Peter Nureyev that really did adore Juno Steel squirmed delightedly as their fingers were linked back together so Juno could pull Peter's arm around his neck like a self-imposed headlock. It left Peter's hand hovering close to Juno's mouth and he could feel the hot puff of breath as Juno laughed.

'Yeah, so. I'm just happy for them.'

Peter hummed in response, the writhing fury at himself for forgetting something so _important_ finally settling into something he could perhaps consider forgiving himself for.

'Do you want to talk about it?' He murmured and dipped his chin to kiss the side of Juno's forehead. A sly, greedy sliver of himself felt a twinge of jealousy every time Diamond came up. He supposed that was normal. Or, perhaps, the medication, turning him into a scatter-brained sack of broken bones. Peter kissed Juno again, lingering possessively at his temple. The lady didn't seem to mind.

'No, I, uh, I don't need to.' Juno caught himself leaning into the kiss and pulled back. 'Do _you_ want to talk about it?'

Peter considered this. He went as far as taking a step towards that overflowing cabinet of disorder filed under _for future consideration_ before realising that he didn't need to open it. There was _something_ he was curious about.

He shuffled as much as the gnawing agony in his leg would allow, jostling Juno even closer to his chest in the process. The ex-detective looked up quizzically as he cleared his throat.

'Really? Do you?'

'Ah, no. Not quite, but I was wondering . . .'

'Wondering what?'

'What you think of it all. The legal promise of fidelity and shared assets -' _And debts,_ his mind added sourly.

'Marriage?' Just the word from Juno's lips had Nureyev wetting his own nervously.

'Yes.'

'Ah,' Juno trailed off into the gruff bark of laughter he usually reserved for amusement at his own expense. His fingers tightened around Peter's. 'Yeah.'

Peter bit back a tut. That would not do. 'Not that you're obliged to answer, my dear, but that isn't one.'

'Yeah, I know, I know. Uh.' He cleared his throat, staring down that the beautiful contrasting lines of their entangled hands instead of up at Peter. 'Yeah, I - I think of it all. Sometimes.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah.'

Peter wasn't sure what he felt. Elation mainly, the ascending delight of a hovercraft designed only to paint the words JUNO STEEL LOVES PETER NUREYEV in the stars. His elation tended to hit the ceiling of his pessimism fairly quickly.

'Juno, you know we couldn't. Even if I could bring myself to marry you under a moniker, that sort of legality leaves a trace, we would be vulnerable and I would never - with my _current situation_ \- I would never burden you or, or worse, put you at _risk_ with that by choice.' Juno inhaled deeply, expanded underneath Peter's arm like a balloon that might just float away if Peter didn't hold tight. So he did, squeezing Juno through his quiet exhalation. Not quite a sigh, but disappointed all the same. Peter tried again. 'I mean, I've never really thought of it as something that I would ever find myself in the position to consider. Not beyond the scope of a heist, anyway.'

'Hah. Yeah.' Juno laughed that same rough laugh of hurt and all the flowers in the rose garden of affection Peter tended for the lady shrivelled up at once before blooming with a new and painfully vibrant certainty that Peter could not file away for later.

'Juno,' He started slowly. Softly, 'I would _want_ to.'

Juno's head whipped up from Peter's chest. He had to lean back for that flickering eye of his to focus but didn't let go of Peter's hand as his eye roamed his face for the cracks in any mask he might be wearing. Peter swallowed.

'Huh.' Juno's expression ran through a multitude of flashing uncertainties and delights before he grinned like he'd cracked a code that had eluded centuries of disgruntled mathematicians. And how Peter resented his ghostly skin at times like this. 'You're pretty when you blush, Nureyev.'

Peter floundered for a suave response, something to remind Juno that _he_ was the witty one of the pair but the ex-detective held his eyes with a smirk that halted all rational thought. He twisted his wrist to bring the back of Peter's hand to the swell of his lips. His breath tickled the fine hair on its surface. Juno's heated gaze was the sun which made Peter's rose garden beautiful and he kissed the pale line of the fourth digit with a delicate intention that stole a beat of Peter's heart.

His ring finger.

' _Juno.'_ He whispered, but the only reply was a sudden jolt of pain in his leg as Juno bounced off the mattress to straddle him at the hips. His whimper was lost and soon forgotten underneath the insistent press of Juno's mouth and he wrapped both of his arms tight around Juno's middle, a firm reminder that neither of them were going anywhere. Not if Peter could help it. Juno pulled back an inch for them to taste the same hot air as they caught their breath and Peter let his nose brush against Juno's, their foreheads pulled together as though magnetised. Peter watched the tremble of Juno's lips, the way the fine glitter from Peter's lipbalm made them sparkle in the light. There were two words sitting on the tip of his tongue, not _I Do,_ not quite. But -

'I would.'

'Nureyev.' Juno said it like a warning. Like he was begging for something he wouldn't dare ask the man to promise. Like a prayer. ' _I would_.'

**Author's Note:**

> let's be real, who _wasn't_ crying at the engagement announcement?   
> you can find my penumbra screaming [@writevale](https://writevale.tumblr.com/)  
> please leave a comment if you liked it! they really recharge my batteries :)


End file.
